Falling

I had been thinking about weaning myself off my antidepressant for a few weeks and Saturday I finally decided it was time.

THAT WAS DUMB.

I felt good yesterday, a little sleepy but when am I not? So I took my half dose again last night. DUMB AGAIN. I felt sleepy, and a little dizzy on my way in to work this morning. Now, I'm feeling sleepy, dizzy, and anxious because of the side effects. I feel like I'm falling. My eyes feel like they are moving faster than my sight can move. My brain tells my eyes to look down, they move, but my vision follows about a second later. It's a very bad feeling and isn't helping the dizziness.

I've weaned off antidepressants before. Cymbalta was horrible. I couldn't even miss a pill by a few hours or I would feel the way I do now. I've skipped what I'm on now before by mistake, and felt OK. Apparently it's the second day that does me in.

So, I'll get back on my regular dose for a few days and then try again, but with 3/4 of a pill as opposed to a half. My body is just not ready for that, so I'm not going to torture myself and do it. I can't wait to not be a prisoner to the drugs for awhile (probably until next fall), but I have to remember why I take them in the first place and that's to feel right.